The Steadfasts barged through the garage door as the familial octopus they’d become, arms and legs of varying sizes jostling to cross the threshold first.

“Gently, Blaine! Put it down gently,” Alexis bellowed after the seven year old victor who approached the kitchen counter at breakneck speed.

“Mom, Blaine pushed me,” five year old Daniella squealed, already back in hot pursuit of her brother.

The second bag landed with a satisfying crash mere seconds after the first. Alexis had long suspected that Jason insisted on paper for that very reason. She didn’t buy the environmental angle, not when the trip to and from the store was made in an Escalade.

“I won! I won,” the elder child trumpeted.

“Cheater,” his sister shrieked.

“What did I say about slamming groceries,” Alexis admonished. “And, Blaine, don’t push your sister.”

Jason propped the door open for her with his backside as he held two bags of his own.

She scooched past him with the sleeping Anne Marie in her arms.  Already stocked up on groceries for the week, the colicky six month old was the ostensible reason for the redundant trip. It was the rhythm of the road they’d been after.

Tip-toeing past the carnage in the kitchen, careful to give wide berth to the flyers that were strewn all over the floor, Alexis disappeared into the deeper regions of the house.

“How many times do I have to tell you to leave the flyer stand on the coffee table,” Jason moaned, the door slamming shut behind him.

“Not that anyone’s taking them anyway,” he mumbled as he deposited his bags on the counter and began retrieving the forty nine scattered reams of high gloss photo paper. There had been fifty originally, but he’d taken one in to the office to hang on the bulletin board exactly twelve months ago to the day.

“Hey, hon,” he said as he finished up and followed her into the family room clutching one of the flyers. “I was thinking, maybe we could hold some kind of auction or something to increase the demand. Maybe raffle off tickets or …”

The thought died as he turned the corner to find a group of people seated around the sunken conversation pit at the base of the fireplace, staring at him with a tense mixture of anticipation and dread.

“Mom? Carl? What’s going on here,” he demanded.

“Hello, Jason. Please come have a seat. There’s something we’d like to discuss with you,” a stranger sitting slightly apart from the rest of the group invited, his incessant blinking exacerbated by an ill-fitting pair of bifocals. His bald head looked hot in the glow of the 1980′s vintage canned halogen lights.

“Not that I don’t appreciate the invitation to sit down in my own house, but I think I’d rather stand, thank you. What’s this all about, Gerry,” he asked, turning towards the well-groomed man in the grey slacks and pullover sitting closest to the de facto master of ceremonies.

“Just hear the man out, Jason,” Gerry answered.

“Hear him out about what? What is this?”

“This is just a group of your friends and family that cares about you, Jason. Very much,” the stranger responded.

“Oh my God. I’ve seen this on TV. This is an intervention, right,” he asked, panning each face as if he were polling the jury after a guilty verdict.

“If you want to stand on formalities, yes, this is an intervention. Really, though, it’s just a chance for those who care about you most to share their concerns and offer their support,” the stranger replied.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me. Is it about the coffee? I mean, I know I probably drink more than the next guy, but-”

“It’s not about the coffee, Jason,” his wife said from off to his left. He hadn’t seen her reenter the room.

“You’re in on this,” he asked in horror.

“I invited them, Jason.”

He stared at his wife with mouth agape, trying to wrap his mind around the scope of the betrayal.

“Judas,” he hissed.

“Your wife asked us here today because she loves you, Jason. No one is here to attack you. We are here to help. Now, are you willing to listen to what your friends have to say,” the stranger asked, his fleshy Adam’s apple bobbing beneath his double chin with each syllable.

“Not until someone tells me what this is all about,” he answered. “And where are the kids?”

“The kids are in good hands, Jason,” the stranger assured him.

The room fell into a pronounced moment of uncomfortable silence. The assembled guests looked back and forth at each other, willing one another to break the seal.

“It’s your price, Jason,” Gerry finally informed him to the room’s relief. “We are concerned about your list price.” He started to run a soft hand through his slick-backed, black hair before thinking better of it and smoothing the disturbed follicles back into place.

“What about my list price,” Jason challenged his Realtor, crossing his arms in defiance.

“It’s, um, well it’s … it’s high, Jason. It’s just too damn high,” Gerry spilled, punctuating his words with a year’s worth of frustration.

“Too high, huh? Like the Crawford’s place down the street was too high,” Jason countered.

“We’ve discussed this, Jason,” Gerry reminded him. “That comp is three years old.”

“I know what this house is worth. We just need the right buyer,” Jason said.

“No, Jason,” Gerry retorted. “You know what this house WAS worth. Lotta market fallout under the bridge since oh seven.  Besides, that home was fully remodeled from the ground up. Yours … could stand a little work.” His eyes darted to the imitation crystal behemoth masquerading as a chandelier in the adjoining dining room.

“That’s not what you said when you took the listing, Gerry,” Jason accused. “I seem to remember you going on and on about our indoor-outdoor carpeting when you were trying to get my signature.”

Gerry hung his head in shame. The reflection in his brilliantly polished black shoes captured an enabler’s remorse.

“He’s a Realtor, Jay. What’d you expect,” the man sitting to Gerry’s right asked. “Look, there’s no excuse for him shining you on in the beginning like that, but he wanted the business. He’s trying to atone for it now.”

“I’d expect this from him,” Jason replied, jerking a thumb towards his despondent agent, “but not you, Carl. I mean, my own flesh and blood …”

“Come off it, Jay. I’ve been telling you all along that your price is stupid, but would you listen to your big brother? Nooooooooo.”

“What do you know about housing values, Carl? You’re in pharmaceutical sales, for crissakes!”

“Doesn’t take an economist to know your house isn’t worth a hundred grand more than you paid for it back in the boom years. Gerry showed me the last round of comps. It’s ugly, Jay.”

“You can’t stand to see your kid brother do better than you, can you, Gerry? It’s just like that time with the bike. I get a new ten-speed when you were still tooling around on a hand-me-down Schwinn, and you manage to accidentally crash it into the Flanders’ queen palm. How convenient.”

“Jesus, not the bike again. It was an accident!”

“Sure it was, Gerry,” Jason snipped. “Sure it was.”

His big brother shook his considerable head and looked to the couple on his immediate right to pick up the baton.

“Bruce? Maggie? What are you doing here,” Jason wondered, taking in their presence for the first time.

“The Maguires are here as concerned neighbors, Jason,” the ringleader interjected, his glowing dome now verging on spontaneous combustion.

The elderly couple eyed each other in evident discomfort, hoping the other would take the lead. Finally, Maggie spoke.

“It’s just that Bruce is getting ready to retire, Jason,” she began. “Now that the kids are gone, we’re thinking about putting the house up for sale in the spring. It’s more than we need, and we’d really like to do some traveling.”

Gerry perked up at that, reaching into his wallet for a business card.

“That’s great, but what does it have to do with me,” Jason asked.

“We’re worried about the effect your home is having on values,” Bruce answered. “You’ve been on the market so long that people are going to start wondering if there’s something wrong with the neighborhood.”

“That’s absurd,” Jason boomed. “You’re coming down on ME when everyone else on the block is just giving their homes away? You should be thanking me! The Smiths or the Gundersons are who you ought’a be talking to right now, not me.”

“I’ll admit that I was happy to see you give it a shot when you first went on the market,” the old-timer said, scratching a suspicious looking cluster of basal cells on the tip of his leathery nose. “Hadn’t seen a price like that in ages. I thought you were nuts, but figured you’d drop the price until you eventually found the market.”

“The market is where we’re priced, Bruce. These buyers and their agents are just too stupid to realize it. If they expect us to give them our house for what the short sale and foreclosure trash is going for, they’ve got another thing coming,” Jason argued.

“For a smart guy, you sure are dumb. The market is what a buyer is willing to pay you, son,” Bruce sighed. “Look, if you won’t do it for yourself, do it for us. We still have a little equity in our place, and we need every penny we can get out of it. Figure at least thirty percent for the down payment on the condo in Sun Lakes, another fifteen thousand or so for the medical bills that Medicare won’t cover and a few other expenses, and there isn’t much left. Every day you sit on the market at that ridiculous price, our golden years get a little less golden.”

Maggie removed a tube of ointment from her denim purse and passed it to her husband. Bruce smiled his thanks and applied a substantial dollop to his angry nose. The musty aroma of wet putty filled the room.

“Not to be rude, Bruce, but how is any of that my problem? I’m holding the line here so that all of us get the prices we deserve. I’m doing you a favor.”

Maggie patted her husband’s knee as Bruce shook his head.

“It’ll be alright, sweetheart. We’ll just have to wait another couple of years. I’ll ask Agnes about picking up that night shift at the diner.”

“And what about you, Mom,” Jason asked the diminutive figure to Maggie’s right. “You can’t be in on this. You just can’t.”

A single tear started the slow journey from her false eyelash to the point of her skeletal chin, leaving a contrail of mascara in its wake.

“Oh my, sweet, sweet boy,” she blubbered before breaking down into soul-rattling sobs. “How could I have let this happen to you?”

“Don’t cry, Mom,” he pleaded. “Please don’t cry.” His lower lip started quivering as Alexis walked over and put a reaffirming hand on his shoulder. He collapsed into her waiting arms.

“Let it out,” she cooed in his ear. “Let it all out.”

Jason did exactly that. He cried openly for the first time in his adult life, purging his body of the shame and frustration that gushed forth with his tears.

“I’m sorry,” he wailed. “I’m so, so sorry.”

Hands engulfed him as Jason suddenly found himself at the epicenter of a group hug.

“It’s okay,” one voice said. “We’re sorry, too,” said another.

“So what now,” Jason asked of no one in particular when the cluster loosened, all still dabbing at moist eyes.

“Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Stephan Crawford, of Crawford and Associates Appraisals,” the previously unidentified master of ceremonies revealed. “We have our top residential appraiser scheduled for ten AM tomorrow. It’s all arranged and paid for. All you have to do is be here to let him in.”

Jason blew out the breath he wasn’t aware he’d been holding.

“You mean tomorrow? But I’ve got an appointment in the morning, and-”

“It’s taken care of, Jason. We’ve cleared it with your boss,” Stephan assured him. “Isn’t that right, Henry?”

A dour looking man entered the room from the kids’ wing with Blaine and Daniella in tow. His black on black attire was at odds with the Little Mermaid tiara that sat atop his mussed silver hair. He had the desperate look of an aristocrat who had just spent the weekend in county lockup.

“Mr. Samuels,” Jason gaped.

“Hello, Jason,” the new arrival began. “You are not welcome at the firm until this situation has been … resolved.”  He chewed on the last word as he removed the undignified adornment from his angular head.

“But, sir,” Jason protested. “The Mayfair file-”

“Will be waiting for you when you get back,” his cadaverous boss interrupted. “You’re not doing anybody any good right now. Craig Tallman will handle all of your files until you get your head screwed on right.”

“Tallman,” Jason snorted. “He couldn’t hang a jury with twelve feet of rope and a stepladder.”

“And neither can you in your present state,” the senior partner countered. “The billing errors, the first year lapses in judgment … need I mention the fiasco with the character witness in the McElroy case? Put your house in order so we can get you back to your winning ways. That’s an order.”

Jason nodded his resigned acceptance.

“Besides,” the humorless lawyer continued. “We took a vote at the latest meeting of partners that you managed to miss. One more mention of your house or your lousy agent-”

“Hey,” Gerry objected.

“-and we strap you to the one-way gurney ourselves,” Mr. Samuels concluded behind arched eyebrows. “Understood?”

“Understood, sir,” Jason confirmed. “I know how difficult this has been on all of you. I know I have a problem, and I’m ready to get help.”

“Anything you need, Jason,” Stephan offered on behalf of the group. “We’re here for you.”

“I know that, and I can’t tell you how much it means to me,” he acknowledged, taking a step towards the kitchen. “I don’t know about you guys, but I’m parched. Can I get anyone a drink?”

Several requests for water followed him into the kitchen.

“Well, that went about as well as it could have,” Alexis suggested, hugging her children to her hips.

Stephan glanced at his watch.

“Five, four, three, two ..”

Heads turned sharply at the sound of a slamming door. Moments later, a massive engine springing to life preceded the squeal of tires as a vehicle careened down the driveway.

“Jason,” Alexis screamed, running after him.

“Let him go,” Stephan advised.

“What do you mean, let him go,” she demanded, stopping to stare at the weary appraiser.

“He’ll come back when he’s ready.”

“But he’s sick,” she protested. “He could hurt our equity!”

“Yes, he could,” the appraiser admitted. “But he has to make the choice voluntarily. All the comparable market analyses in the world won’t do a bit of good if he is not open to the possibility of change. Sometimes an FVA has to hit rock bottom before finding the strength to accept treatment.”

“FVA,” she asked.

“Former Value Addict.”

“And if he never comes around,” she posited.

“They always come around,” Stefan assured her.

“But if he doesn’t?”

“Then we move to phase two,” Stephan informed her.

“What’s phase two?”

“You don’t want to know,” he answered.

The appraiser removed a cell phone from the holster on his belt and made a call.

“Hi, Gloria, it’s Stephan,” he announced to the person on the other end. “I’m at the Steadfast residence.”

He took a deep breath and scanned the eager faces staring back at him before continuing.

“We’ve got a runner.”

GENTLEMEN, START YOUR ENGINES!

Are they good and fired up?

Great, now turn them off.

As one knocks around the internet here in late April of 2010, he or she cannot go two clicks without encountering manic encouragement to purchase a home “BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE,” or proclamations that “TIME IS RUNNING OUT” to take advantage of the first-time and move-up homebuyer tax credit; each froth-inducing pitch more fevered than the last.  The only thing missing are the decrees that “THIS OFFER EXPIRES AS SOON AS YOU LEAVE THE PREMISES,” and inquisitions as to “WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO TO GET YOU INTO A HOUSE TODAY?”  P.T. Barnum had nothing on a gaggle of motivated Real Estate agents.

Here’s the thing, though, I am not a big fan of leveraging fear as a sales tool.  With just over a week left in the Federal Clearing House Tax Sweepstakes, I am pulling the plug on my own hyperbole.  If you are a first-time homebuyer and have not found a suitable home after months of feckless searching, it’s time to call off the dogs. 

“IT DOESN’T HAVE TO BE PERFECT, JUST BUY SOMETHING!!!”

“HAVEN‘T BOUGHT A HOUSE YET??? 

WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR???”

“DON’T GET LEFT ON THE SIDELINES! THERE’S STILL TIME!”

Lest your home buying ship wash up on the nearest reef, these bleating calls to action should go unheeded.  The wall to wall promotion does have one thing right, though:  the time is now.  Just not in the way they would have you believe.  Now is the time to regroup and ensure you do not make a poor purchasing decision.  The tax credit has been a nice perk to those fortunate enough to find the right home over the past year, but don’t sabotage a 250k purchase because Uncle Sam is holding an 8k caliber gun to your head. 

If you are just starting the hunt now, you’ll do yourself a huge disservice by attempting to shoehorn yourselves into an ill-fitting home due to the time constraint.  If you are nearing your wits end after an unsuccessful months-long odyssey, you are equally likely to do the same when facing down the looming deadline.  I am issuing a cease and desist order to those who have confused the priorities of their fledgling home purchases. 

Let it go, folks.  Let it go. 

We can start again when your only underlying concern is securing the best possible deal on your ideal new home.  With the throng of desperate lemmings running blindly for the cliff, you might just find yourself as king of the buyer’s mountain come May 1st.  With a potential reduction in the number of suitors left after the great tax credit hari-kari, you could unwittingly stumble upon higher negotiating ground via your abstinence from the purchasing frenzy.  While that 8k incentive will drive some to overbid on properties in the coming days, the smart buyer might seek to carve a larger swath out of a seller’s backside in the fertile post-April 30th hunting grounds.

“IF YOU DON’T LIKE THIS HOUSE, SEND IT BACK FOR A NO-HASSLE MONEY BACK GUARANTEE!" <or not>

The folly in the air is palpable at present.  That little governmental spiff will come and go, and you won’t even remember towards what end the money went.  You’ll be stuck with the house, however.  Make sure it is the one you want. And for God’s sakes, man, don’t make the same mistake that we all made back in the heyday of 2005-2006 by assuming you will be able to offload the house in a couple of years if it doesn’t prove suitable for your needs.

Surely we haven’t forgotten this lesson while it is still being taught in excruciating detail?

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Search Scottsdale Homes For Sale At A Leisurely Pace

Doing your Scottsdale home shopping from afar?

Already own a home in Scottsdale, but need a copy of your floor plan for remodeling purposes?

One advantage to working with a partner who was selling Scottsdale Real Estate prior the Gadsden Purchase (mild exaggeration) is a file cabinet full of old, forgotten floor plans.  Trawling the catacombs for more of the oldies but goodies that are not readily attainable elsewhere, today’s booty is buried within Scottsdale’s second significant master planned community.  Following in the groundbreaking footsteps of McCormick Ranch, Scottsdale Ranch incorporated the lake and walking path system that earned its predecessor such rave reviews.

Intertwined with the parks and shopping, Scottsdale Ranch offers a wide variety of housing that can accommodate most every need.  From modest condos to lakeside patio homes and monster single family residences, this primarily mid 1980s – early 1990s built community should be on nearly every prospective home buyer’s short list.  Just East of McCormick Ranch, the close in location is near most everything, and boasts larger lot sizes than some of the newer communities further North.  While its sister community earns most of the name brand recognition, many people are lured to Scottsdale Ranch for the slightly newer architecture (cathedral ceilings and 3 car garages, anyone?) to go along with comparable amenities, excelling schools, etc.

By no means complete, please click on a highlighted subdivision name from the list below to view floor plans.  If you don’t see the community you desire highlighted at present, no fear, this is an ongoing endeavor.  We are just scratching the surface.  Check back in to see if our progress has reached the apple of your buying eye.

Just don’t give me any sass for my snail’s pace, you bunch of ingrates.  This is a major undertaking.

Ready to claim your own Scottsdale Ranch home?  Scroll to the bottom of the page for the latest Scottsdale Ranch Real Estate listings!

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Scottsdale Ranch Single Family Homes

Andalusia

Catalina

Ensenada Del Oro

Heritage Court

Heritage Place

Heritage Terrace II

Haciendas Del Lag0

Hillcrest

Mirador | The Concordia | The Elegante | The Finesa | The Seville | The Solara | The Tradicion

Mountain View Place

Mountain View Village

Ridgeview Estates

Sierra Linda

St. Tropez

The Estates at Scottsdale Ranch

Tierra Vista

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Scottsdale Ranch Patio Homes

Casa De Cielo

Heritage Village IV

Mission Monterey

Mission Santa Fe

Mountainview Lake Estates | The Antigua | Casa Del Lago | The Bahia Mar

Suntree East

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Scottsdale Ranch Condos

Scottsdale Bay Club

Scottsdale Bay Club Phase II

The Fountains

The Racquet Club

The Venetian

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Waterfront Communities (mixed classifications)

Bayview Estates

Charter Point

Lake Serena Estates

Lakeview Estates

Las Brisas

Monterey Point

The Island at Scottsdale Ranch

The Landings at Scottsdale Ranch

The Waterfront at Scottsdale Ranch

Scottsdale Ranch Unit 8

Ready to start your Scottsdale Ranch home search?

The Latest Scottsdale Ranch Homes For Sale

Showing properties 1 - 5 of 57. See more Scottsdale Ranch.
(all data current as of 2/5/2012)

1. $135,000 : 10015 E Mountain View Road, Unit 1009, Scottsdale
   
   2 beds, 2.00 baths

   Home size: 1,162 sq ft

   Lot size: 7,500 sq ft

   Year built: 1985

   Parking spots: 3

   Days on market: 1
   
2. $639,900 : 9696 E Mission Lane, Scottsdale
   
   4 beds, 3.00 baths

   Home size: 3,890 sq ft

   Lot size: 21,870 sq ft

   Year built: 1983

   Parking spots: 3

   Days on market: 2
   
3. $1,050,000 : 10449 N 99th Street, Scottsdale
   
   5 beds, 4.50 baths

   Home size: 4,459 sq ft

   Lot size: 10,985 sq ft

   Year built: 1987

   Parking spots: 3

   Days on market: 2
   
4. $290,000 : 10511 N 104th Place, Scottsdale
   
   2 beds, 2.00 baths

   Home size: 2,021 sq ft

   Lot size: 5,178 sq ft

   Year built: 1987

   Parking spots: 2

   Days on market: 2
   
5. $618,000 : 10193 E Bayview Drive, Scottsdale
   
   3 beds, 2.00 baths

   Home size: 2,400 sq ft

   Lot size: 8,800 sq ft

   Year built: 1996

   Parking spots: 2

   Days on market: 3
   

Listing information deemed reliable but not guaranteed. Read full disclaimer.

View all Homes for Sale in Scottsdale Ranch

New Scottsdale Ranch Listings

No one knows Scottsdale Real Estate like Ray & Paul.

Just North of the Shea corridor, the guard-gated community of Scottsdale Mountain is one of the city’s Easternmost sentinels.  Nestled in the foothills of the McDowell Mountains, this planned community was originally developed in the 1990s.  With close proximity to the renowned Mayo Clinic and bordering Fountain Hills, Scottsdale Mountain manages to balance a more secluded locale with convenient access to all of North Scottsdale’s abundant amenities.

Comprised of primarily single-family homes, both mass production level builders and custom home sites are evident within its gates.  Boasting scenic desert arroyos and mountain views to the North, those high up the hill with Southern facing back yards are treated to city light views at night.   Ideal for both primary residency and lock and leave second home ownership, this terrific community is a must see for all lovers of peaceful desert living without the all the “who do I call if my house is on fire?” and “sorry I’m late, there was a bobcat in my driveway” remote locational concerns.

Guard Gate at Scottsdale Mountain

While floor plans for the custom properties are not readily available for distribution, please select plans below for the subdivision/builder of your choice for perusal.  I’m partial to the Montereys and Edmunds, though I do have a soft spot for the Golden Heritages that sit on the natural washes and stare up at the majestic McDowells.  I’m into that sort of thing.

Ready to find a Scottsdale Mountain home of your own?  Scroll to the bottom of the page to view the live stream of the latest listings to hit the market!

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Horizons at Scottsdale Mountain | Maracay Homes |Plans 901-903 | Plans 904-950

Renaissance at Scottsdale Mountain | Ryland Homes | Mozart, Bach & Beethoven Plans | Picasso, Da Vinci & Rembrandt Plans

Saddleback at Scottsdale Mountain | Saddleback | The Latilla | The Mirador | The Portales

Scottsdale Mountain Estates | Geoffrey Edmunds

Scottsdale Mountain Parcels 11A & 11B | Monterey

The Terraces at Scottsdale Mountain | Geoffrey Edmunds | Ocotillo | Saguaro | Cassia

Westwind Estates | Golden Heritage

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Latest Scottsdale Mountain Homes For Sale

Showing properties 1 - 3 of 11. See more Scottsdale Mountain.
(all data current as of 2/5/2012)

1. $499,900 : 11886 N 137th Street, Scottsdale
   
   3 beds, 2.00 baths

   Home size: 2,324 sq ft

   Lot size: 2,324 sq ft

   Year built: 1996

   Parking spots: 2

   Days on market: 4
   
2. $434,900 : 12174 N 138th Way, Scottsdale
   
   3 beds, 3.00 baths

   Home size: 3,016 sq ft

   Lot size: 7,414 sq ft

   Year built: 1996

   Parking spots: 3

   Days on market: 4
   
3. $445,000 : 13629 E Shaw Butte Drive, Scottsdale
   
   3 beds, 2.00 baths

   Home size: 2,324 sq ft

   Lot size: 6,470 sq ft

   Year built: 1996

   Parking spots: 2

   Days on market: 34
   

Listing information deemed reliable but not guaranteed. Read full disclaimer.

View All Homes for sale in Scottsdale Mountain

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Ready to start your Scottsdale Mountain home search?  We’re your guys.

Nobody knows Scottsdale Real Estate like Ray & Paul

(480) 220-2337 | paul@rayandpaul.com

In many respects, the heralded Real Estate bargains to be had in Scottsdale and the greater Phoenix area should come with the disclosures required of weight-loss product testimonials.

“Joe Homebuyer’s results not typical.”

“Always consult a physician before launching an intensive home search program.”

“Stretch thoroughly and lift with your legs before attempting bank-owned property heist.”

For the purposes of this piece, we are going to focus on the first caveat.  Every Valley resident has at least passing knowledge of some fortunate homebuyer who leveraged the current market to score a honey of a bank-owned deal.  As big a nobody-turned-celebrity as the 170 pound guy in a Nutrisystem commercial holding up a pair of orca sized slacks as evidence of his former girth, Bob from accounting is the new gold standard for idolatry after securing the housing buy that set the office abuzz.  Before following in Bob’s considerable footsteps, however, there are a few things you need to keep in mind.  His results may not only prove atypical, but in extreme cases, constitute patently misleading advertising.

The hidden “gotcha” to many bank owned purchases right now are property taxes.  While the institution that owns the property should pay off any back taxes as a condition of conveying clear title to the purchaser, many buyers fail to properly account for the bill they will be saddled with for the next couple of years (at a minimum).  Unlike other parts of the country, where taxes are based solely upon purchase price, Maricopa County taxes are based upon the assessed value of the property.  Many falsely assume that the home they are buying for $350,000 will reflect a tax basis commensurate with that value.  As our budget revolves around 2 year property evaluation schedules, odds are very good that your current tax basis will reflect a value closer to the $1.1 million that the home sold for back in 2006.

*Click here for information about Maricopa County property taxes

*Maricopa County residents are entitled to appeal all new evaluations from the county assessor (typically go out in early Februaruy), but must do so within 60 days of the date they were mailed.  Click to begin the Maricopa County property tax appeal process online.

Another thing to bear in mind is that while the assessed value of the property is likely to decline rather dramatically over the next several evaluation cycles, expect tax rates to rise in contrast.  You should see an overall reduction to your bill in the future, but our strapped municipalities aren’t going to let go of all that revenue without a fight.  Already firmly entrenched in the red, it is an almost foregone conclusion that the tax rates will be fully maxed out to legally allowable levels to offset as much of the lost potential revenue as possible.  Your friendly, cash-strapped local government at work.

Another hidden sniper to these bank-owned bargains are Homeowner Association expenses.  While monthly fees are typically disclosed upfront (or easily determined through a few well placed phone calls), former million dollar neighborhoods are fodder for massive asset preservation and capital improvement fees/impounds.  You might well afford the $120 monthly fee, but the bulbous community enhancement fee that is due at the time of purchase could blow an unsuspecting buyer’s budget right out of the water.  Given the many amenities that some such high end subdivisions boast, it would also be wise to expect and budget for future special assessments involving their maintenance.

There really are some amazing deals floating around the market right now, just make sure you can afford them.  We are looking for a home you can maintain and afford, not a fad purchase that will lead to a lifetime of yo-yo budgeting.

You don’t want to end up back in the fat pants.

It’s true.  In Arizona, you will rarely get the keys to your new home at the closing table.  Despite the fact that you wired in the balance of your down payment funds or marched a cashier’s check into the title company on what you thought was the penultimate day, the home is not yet yours.  You see, unlike other parts of the country where all parties congregate around the closing table to officially finalize the escrow process, there are still a few remnants of hanging fire that must be doused before your new home is officially, well,  your new home.

If you relocated from back East, you may be surprised to find the title officer and your agent (hopefully he/she is in attendance) as your only companions at signing.  Buyers and sellers typically have separate signing appointments, so if your loan documents arrived at the title company three full days prior to the scheduled closing date, as stipulated in the boiler plate of the standard Arizona Association of Realtors contract, you might actually execute your portion of the documents before the seller does.  Until both parties sign their respective closing docs, the property cannot be transferred.  Even if the seller has signed off prior to your appointment, however, there are a few additional factors that preclude you from taking immediate possession of the property.

The closing appointment at which the buyer signs the loan documents is not technically the “closing” because of a few missing components.  Most important among them are the funds from the lender.  While you may have already brought in the balance of the funds required of you (down payment and closing costs), most lenders do not release their funds until they receive and review the loan documents that you sign at your closing appointment.  Some lenders will “table fund,” meaning they will release the wire to the title company without review of the documents, but that is atypical.  Needless to say, until the money from your lender hits the title company’s coffers, the moving truck you have scheduled is going to have to keep circling the block.  From the time of your signing, it will usually take 24-48 hours for the lender to fund the loan.  This, of course, assumes that there are no problems or discrepancies found in their review of the signed documents.

Okay, so you signed your documents, wired in your down payment and just learned that the lender has funded your loan on the scheduled day of closing.  Woohoo!  The house is finally yours!  Now where’s that key?  Not so fast.  Even though it is tantamount to a rubber stamp, the title company still has to submit the deed to the county for recording.  This is an automated process these days and is done en masse, but the home is not yours until we receive confirmation that the deed has been recorded.  It is then, several days after you signed the paperwork and deposited your money that your Realtor shows up with your keys and a thousand watt smile.

The thing to keep in mind when considering the logistics involved in closing is that you will have nothing to do on the actual close of escrow date.  The signing of documents and deposit of monies, if handled correctly, will be done in advance.  Keep this in mind when discussing closing dates with your agent as part of the initial negotiation, as miscommunication (we agents sometimes forget that people don’t understand all of the minutia involved in the sale of property) might lead you to take the wrong day off work or schedule the movers incorrectly.  Plan on being physically available two to three days prior to the agreed upon closing date (as it is stated in the contract) to do your part.  Some people schedule the movers for the closing date, but this is a mistake.  Because the home is not yours until it records, and there is no way to know whether it will record at 9 in the morning or 5 at night, you will save yourself a lot of potential misery by scheduling the truck a day or two later.  With the recent delays that have been caused in many transactions by various, and dare I say, draconian changes within the lending industry, a little buffer is advisable.

Now that you have a handle on the closing process, we’ll backtrack a bit in the next installment of the Scottsdale Property Shop home buying series as we take a closer look at the inspection process in, “They Have to Fix That, Right?”

Update:  This Home Has Sold!  We Can Sell Yours, Too!

Just listed in the prime lake section of McCormick Ranch, this four bedroom Dix home boasts hardwood floors, new berber carpeting, new bathroom vanities with granite tops, wood-burning fireplace in family room, split master floor plan, heated pool & spa w/waterfall and drop dead gorgeous front and rear landscaping.  Situated on an interior lot in the Cochise / Cocopah / Chaparral school districts, you are a quick stroll from the walking paths, lakes, golf, restaurants and parks that make McCormick Ranch THE premier in-town planned community in Scottsdale.

Priced for today’s market by sellers who actually plan to sell, not practice.  That’s right, real people own this home and will respond in a timely and human fashion!  People who have meticulously maintained and improved this quality home over the years and can actually provide disclosures and entertain reasonable repairs!  I know, it’s crazy!  They do exist!  Check the comparables, even the dog-eared bank properties think we are underpriced.

Get the best of both worlds:  The quality of a privately owned home for the price of a foreclosure!

8907 N. 80th Way

Scottsdale, AZ 85258

MLS# 4286279

2139 Square Feet

4 Bed / 2 Bath / 2 Car Garage

Pool & Spa

$469,900

____________________________________

Ray & Paul Slaybaugh

Realty Executives

(480) 948-9450

paul@scottsdalepropertyshop.com

You’ve been punched.  You’ve been cajoled.  You’ve been dismissed out of hand as a serious contender.  Your corner wants to throw in the towel, but it’s time to look deep inside yourself for that fighting spirit.  This is your Rocky moment, and I’m your Mick.

Tempting as it may be to utter “No mas,” in the face of a younger, stronger foe, you as a home seller have your own strengths.  Yes, the bank properties have been hammering your rib cage and battering you with low blow after low blow for the last eleven rounds.  Every time you regain your composure, another steel-fisted uppercut in the form of a new REO listing shatters the ineffective ”pride of ownership” cup upon which you have been so dependant.  The referee and the fight doctor are scrutinizing that nasty gash above your eye to determine if you are still able to intelligently defend yourself.

You’re seeing triple, you say?  Buck up, Rock, and hit the guy in the middle.

Now that the free-fall in property values has seemingly arrested (much like the hearts of many homeowners this year) across several segments of the local Scottsdale Real Estate market, would-be sellers can take a deep breath and catch their second wind.  Even if they are still leery of making the price jump from distressed properties to resale properties, buyers are back in the market.  Several straight months of increasing home sales, decreasing inventory and even modest median price increases (really?) indicate this.  That’s the good news.  The bad news is that most of these buyers are still purchasing the goods on the ground floor (sporting goods, evening wear and foreclosed Real Estate) while the typical mom & pop seller continue to be priced on level four.

Before resale homes start selling at a higher rate, their prices still need to drift a little further South.  This is not news.  You’ve been pummeled with this unwelcome assertion for the past year.  My intent is not to rabbit punch you with the obvious on this day.  I’m offering a momentary reprieve from the infernal pessimism (which I have admittedly dispensed with impunity).  No more defeatism from your corner, it’s time to talk strategy.

Yes, the bank-owned property on the far side of the ring is a fearsome opponent, but skill and guile can slay the relentless beast.  You’ve been getting drubbed over the course of this bout because you are not offering your bigger foe any angles.  You’re simply turtling up with that ridiculous price of yours and accepting a merciless beating.  To change the tide in this lopsided affair, yes, you do need to get a bit more competitive with your price.  Until you get inside the freakish reach advantage of the banks, you’re rope-a-dope tactics will just get you roped and doped.

This is not to imply that you need to match the price of the distressed properties, you simply need to vie for the same buyers.  If the banks are on the ground floor, you need to get down to level two.  If you can at least mitigate a portion of the huge price disadvantage you face, you have a puncher’s chance to sell your home.  Here’s why:

• The bank property across the street will convey to the buyer in “as is” condition.  You have maintained your home over the years and will make any necessary repairs, within reason, to appease a buyer.

• The bank property across the street will come with a grand total of zero disclosures.  You will provide a potential buyer with a Seller Property Disclosure Statement, Insurance Loss History Report and any other appropriate documentation to give a certain level of comfort to the new owner.

• The bank property across the street may not be able to be financed by a buyer due to its condition.  Because you have listened to your Realtor and whipped your home into tip-top shape, you will face no such problem.  Right?

• The bank property across the street may require a buyer to order utilities turned on in their name (and pay any applicable deposits for said service) in order to inspect the working components of the home.

• The bank property across the street may ultimately attract multiple offers at its supremely low price.  This can benefit you in several ways.  For starters, the ultimate sales price is often driven higher than the list price in such scenarios, thus making your case for higher neighborhood values.  Secondly, there will be despondent losing bidders for that property that will look, perhaps to you, for alternatives.  Lastly, some buyers will become disenfranchised with bank properties after having gone through this multiple offer scenario several times.  Eager for less competition and an honest negotiation, some just might set their sights on the slightly higher priced property that can be negotiated downwards instead of upwards.

So there you go, champ.  You are far from a hapless tomato can against the oversized Palooka who has been doing the Ali Shuffle all over your face.  He’s a one-trick pony.  Take away the huge price haymaker and the kid is a regular Glass Joe.  If you have the moxie and the wherewithal to get your price just a bit closer to the bank’s, you have the arsenal to pull off a stunning upset and walk out of the joint with the title.  The title of “former homeowner,” that is.

Now put your mouthpiece back in, get off that damn stool and get in there and fight!

By now, even the most procrastinating of first time home buyers understands that the end is nigh.  The end of the $8000 first-time homebuyer tax credit, that is.  While rumors abound about a possible extension past the current deadline, rumors also persist that man did not actually walk on the moon in 1969 (if you happen to believe the latter, you can moonwalk your way right out of my blog catalog).  When it comes to our esteemed legislative bodies, I am not ready to take the leap of assumptive faith that they will do the logical thing.  As things stand, you have received sufficient warning from every warm and cold blooded Realtor type in the land that you need to get on the stick immediately.  With new appraisal regulations and loans which used to take 30 days now bogged down in underwriting quicksand, it is not a good idea to venture past mid October before pulling the trigger on that home you have been patiently watching for just one more price reduction.  With a fleet of fellow procrastinators waiting until the absolute zero hour (closing prior to 12/1/09), there is also the added risk of running into title company soup.  Think the end of the month is busy at your friendly title company and subsequently hectic in terms of getting your deal closed?  My hunch is that typical happenstance will be a walk along a tranquil beach in comparison to the buyer tsunami that figures to crash upon every escrow office near you between 11/1 and 11/30.

But these are the things you already know.  Just like you already know that the credit is not reserved solely for first time buyers, but also those who have not owned Real Estate within the past three calendar years.  This information is so readily available that I haven’t even bothered to write about it before now.  At great risk of being the guy who runs into the empty room to yell “Fire,” I do believe there is one more wrinkle that needs to be discussed.  With the deadline steadfastly approaching (just because it looms closer, doesn’t mean the pace has suddenly morphed to earn “rapidly approaching” designation, now does it?), lost in the prodding for first-timers to buy now is any discussion as to the kinds of homes you should be considering.  I shall rectify this egregious oversight now.

Earlier in the year, the Real Estate world was your oyster.  REOs, short sales, HUD homes, auctions … bring them on.  As long as you wrapped up your purchase prior to December, you were golden.  Thus, you had the ability to trawl every last oceanic trench to scrape up your sunken treasure.  It probably didn’t take long to realize that the biggest finds, those Titanics of the Real Estate deep, were teeming with sharp-elbowed and deep-pocketed prospectors.  Basically, you with more purchasing power.  Every time you made a play for a new bank property, you and your FHA-fueled dingy were left eating the wake of 50 foot conventional vessels and staring into the live canons of the scourge of the first timer’s sea: cash buyer pirates.

Resigned to the fact that your 3.5% down and government-backed loan vehicle is not a fair fight against the types of buyers that the best values attract, you most likely started looking at resale and short sale properties.  Resales have been tricky because most sellers are not in a position to compete with the banks.  Many that you would be interested in continue to be priced out of your affordability.

Now you may be thinking that short sales are the way to go.  The bank wants to offload a property that is in default without incurring the expense of foreclosure.  The seller just wants out and is not motivated by profit, thus creating a tantalizing asking price.  Sure there are only a couple months left to close on a house to secure your credit, but this listing says they are using a “Certified Negotiating Specialist.”  This other one says they have a 95% success rate!  Another even says that they are near bank approval!

Don’t do it.

I know you have gotten your teeth kicked in on the bidding wars that erupt on the bank properties, and the resale market is still too pricey, but short sales are not the way.  Not now.  If you had submitted an offer on one several months ago, you would have a shot, but I am telling you right now that YOU WILL NOT RECEIVE YOUR $8000 TAX CREDIT IF YOU WRITE ON A NON-APPROVED SHORT SALE LISTING at this point.  It is quite typical for the process to take 3-6 months, and the resolution is far from a sure thing.

Keep looking at the bank properties, but reset your sights a little.  Great values are still out there.  You can lock one up that isn’t priced so stupidly low that every buyer and his pet chimpanzee show up to vie for it, driving the price into the stratosphere.  Some of the best buys made right now are actually the ones with list prices that aren’t necessarily the most attractive.  When banks, just like typical sellers, miss that sweet spot, you have a better shot at negotiating the price lower versus bidding the stupid cheap one up.

This is also not a bad time to take another hard look at the resale market.  Sellers of properties that will fit the budgets of first time buyers should be receiving advice from their agents right about now that they really need to get competitive if they are to capitalize on the last minute purchasing rush.  Granted, many sellers simply are not in a financial position to lower their prices, I have noticed more and more resale listings working their way into my searches.

Finally, I would be remiss if I didn’t caution that the tax credit should not be the be all and end all for your purchasing decision.  If you simply cannot find the property you want at a price you can afford, don’t get caught up in the frenzy.  The worst decisions are often made in the face of such artificial pressure.

But if you are ready to take the plunge, find yourself a property in which the seller can give you a thumbs up or thumbs down within days instead of weeks.  Walking the short sale plank with less than 90 days to get it closed will net you an $8000 cold shower.

You have a problem.  Your family sees it.  Your friends see it.  At the eye of the storm, only you lack the perspective to clearly recognize the wake of wanton destruction spawned by your vice.  Despite your feeble protestations to the contrary, you need help.  Your addiction does not end with you.  It touches the lives of those around you with dark, restless hands.  Probing unsuspecting pockets and vulnerable throats.

The cycle of despair ends today.  Your days as a perpetual Real Estate shopper are over.

House hunting can give you a rush like none other.  No buyer quickly forgets the first time he steps through the front door to a new potential future.  The magic.  The exhilaration.  The knowledge that one is virtually unfettered to choose his own adventure.  Of course, once that initial euphoria grabs a hold of a buyer, he must experience it again.  Houses 2-10 still hold some residual magic, but do not hold a candle to that very first experience.  Houses 11-20 hold an air of disappointment.  Soon enough, each successive property becomes a progressively greater assault on the sensibilities.  Your friends and relatives grow weary of your constant trolling of Realtor.Com.  Your erstwhile volunteers will no longer join you on the weekly Sunday home tour with your beleaguered Real Estate agent.

You don’t care.  Despite all evidence to the contrary, your silver bullet is out there.  You don’t need help, you just need more listings.  Where are all the new listings, anyway?  Everyone knows that banks are giving houses away for pennies on the dollar, so this simply must be the week that the 5000 square foot home on 4 acres hits the market.  For $125,000.

Welcome to Detox.  My name is Paul.  I will be your cold dose of reality for the next 30 days.

The first step to recovery, of course, is admitting you have a problem.  Trust me, you have a problem.  Further, you must admit that you are powerless to the tug of your addiction.  I offer as “Exhibit A” this August 9th, 2009 email sent to your agent regarding a property you found online.  Time-stamped at 3:48 AM.  “Exhibit B” is your agent’s cell phone records from 3:49 – 4:32 AM of the very same day.

Step two is to understand that a power greater than yourself can restore you to a sane existence.  No, it’s not your brother’s mail carrier’s uncle who owns four rental properties.  It’s your agent.  Listen to him/her.

We’ll just skip step three because we all know that the realm of Real Estate is presided over by a supreme being in the guise of a braying, one-eyed donkey with cataracs.  Pin the tail on him and you are as likely to get donkey kicked in the goods as you are to win the investment lotto.  See step two for obtaining the services of one who knows how to best manipulate, if not outright tame, the fickle Real Estate beast.

You are now ready to move on to step four.  This is where you take full and unflinching stock of your own morality.  “Thou Shall Not Steal” is a typical shortcoming of many Real Estate shopping addicts.  The thrill of the grift, after all, is one of the primary tarpits into which the saber-toothed buyer has fallen to become bogged down to such an irretrievable degree.

While admitting to yourself the wrongs you have committed is no picnic, neither is admitting those things to the higher power of your choice and a fellow non-home buying human.  When you can do so, you have conquered Step five.  Don’t even think about omitting the part where you burned 1897 hours and 16,789 gallons of your agent’s time and gasoline.

Step six is opening yourself up to the full removal of the defects in your character from a higher power.  Once again, your agent will gladly fill this role in absentia and remove said defects via Paypal and/or rubber mallet.

If you can bring yourself to ask for said absolution, you have mastered step seven.

Step eight requires that you make a list of all those you have harmed and be willing to make amends.  You can start with your spouse, co-workers and anyone you have pumped for advice and proceeded to dutifully ignore.  Just make sure that your REALTOR is somewhere in the mix.  No greater sin than trumping his/her decades of industry experience with the sage advice of your hairdresser and life insurance agent.

Step nine is actually making the aforementioned amends.  A little wine and cuddling to soothe frayed nerves and egos is a good start, but cash money absolves all.

Step ten directs that you continue to take stock of your failings and immediately admit subsequent wrongs.  You may be on the road to recovery, but that doesn’t mean you are immune to calling a listing agent directly to schedule an appointment after your agent has patiently educated you over the past year and a half.  And yes by the way, that does make you a bad person.

Step eleven directs you to establish more direct contact with your agent.  Email and the occasional phone call will suffice.  He or she is tired of sending smoke signals in the direction of East Jabib to reach you.  When the right property comes along, don’t make a search party necessary.  Bloodhounds are pricey by the hour.

Step twelve is reserved for those Career Buyers who have had complete spiritual awakenings and will actively work to spread and promote these guiding principles to their brethren in shopping addiction.  Praise the lord and pass the turnips, you are now ready to purchase a home!  Go forth and proselytize!

Should you experience temptation to return to your former habits or worse, suffer a relapse, it is important that you understand three things:

1) These things happen and you are still loved.

2) Just not by your agent.

3) You are completely and totally screwed.