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The Scottsdale Property Shop

Humor & Fiction Archives

All work and no play makes Paul a dull boy ...

This Old House

as it the sagging beam on my front porch? Is that what drove you away? Was it my flimsy windows? My unruly yard? What about my fading paint convinced you that I was unworthy of a fresh coat? When did all the...

Press “0” for Functional Obsolescence

"So let me get this straight," Samuel Rothwall said, interrupting the twenty-something year old wonderkid with the lime green mohawk. "You're saying that young people prefer electronic mail for urgent correspondence?" Bonzai, the assistant manager of the Verizon...

CALL ME

eaning back in a black leather swivel chair while he pondered the day ahead, Jimmy Dietz closed his eyes against the rising glare from the room’s only window. For perhaps the millionth time, he cursed his decision to select the only bedroom in the...

Cover Letter

Dear Francis, I showed your property at 123 E Via Linda yesterday, and my clients absolutely loved the home. As evidence, please find their attached offer. Knowing you are likely to receive additional offers on this listing, allow me to provide a little background on...

‘Tis the Season to Reanimate A Realtor

arly navigated the room with a panache befitting the guest of honor. The fact that he was but one of the invited many did nothing to discourage the lopsided grin from his freckled face. This was his night. Spying a familiar couple loitering in the...

Seller’s Market

Max Welling sipped from the “Denny’s” emblazoned ceramic mug, gritting his teeth against the watered-down confection masquerading as coffee within, the inviting aroma nothing more than a ruse. A useful diversion as he mentally composed his argument, the swill was...

Deep Freeze

“Why is his skin all splotchy?” Chip Donaghue stared at the pathetic, grey man on the gurney. Tubes ran in and out of his crystallized body, connecting him to a bank of beeping machines and monitors. “Sublimation is typical,” the humorless doctor beside him announced....