Tag Archive: real estate fiction

BREAKING: Local Real Estate Agent Only Attends Tour for the Croissants

The spoils of real estate tours

Scottsdale, AZ – Real Estate agents have long utilized tour groups to expose their listing inventory to the local home selling community. A forum that allows agents to promote new and upcoming property listings to a group of fellow active area Realtors, the Real Estate tour group fosters the kind of behind-the-scenes marketing that many…

Real Estate Market Bi-Polar; Follows Suicide Attempt with Raging Kegger

June 20, 2012 Scottsdale, AZ – As anyone who has attempted to buy or sell a home over the past seven years can attest, the Real Estate market has proven unstable at best. New findings released by the Phoenix-based American Behavioral Coalition this morning may explain why. “The Scottsdale Real Estate Market suffers from Schizoaffective…

Seller’s Market

Max Welling sipped from the “Denny’s” emblazoned ceramic mug, gritting his teeth against the watered-down confection masquerading as coffee within, the inviting aroma nothing more than a ruse. A useful diversion as he mentally composed his argument, the swill was nonetheless an affront to his connoisseur’s sensibilities. “Good, huh,” his smug companion inquired, seeking less…

Deep Freeze

“Why is his skin all splotchy?” Chip Donaghue stared at the pathetic, grey man on the gurney. Tubes ran in and out of his crystallized body, connecting him to a bank of beeping machines and monitors. “Sublimation is typical,” the humorless doctor beside him announced. “Sublimation?” “Freezer burn,” the doctor clarified, his high-pitched voice at…

Longtime Home Shopper Fires Agent, Adopts Springer Spaniel

11/14/2011 Scottsdale, AZ – In a turn of events that only the most astute amateur psychologist could have seen coming, a longtime Phoenix area home shopper has split with her Real Estate agent of four years. Sources indicate that Haley Cosmo had become frustrated in recent months with the lack of attention she was being…

Willy Was a Liar

Willy was a liar. Not a teller of tall tales, not a stretcher of the truth, but a pathological liar. Whether swearing that his Uncle Doug played cowbell on Blue Oyster Cult’s ‘Don’t Fear the Reaper,’ or assuring an unsuspecting child that one plus one equals purple, weaving extravagant falsehoods came as naturally to the…

Local Real Estate Brokerage Cancels Popular Charity Event, Cites Lack of Leads

Paradise Valley, AZ – Citing a lack of viable leads, local Real Estate giant, Kraken Realty has announced the cancellation of its annual ‘Strike Out Gout!’ charity event. A Valley institution since 1992, the popular fundraiser has been a bright spot in the fight against advanced podiatric disease for nearly two decades. “It’s with great regret…

The House on Foreclosure Hill

"They're (not) here!"

The wind whipped up and down Oak Street, depositing stray leaves at the feet of the group loitering in front of the last house at the top of the hill. The late October chill worked its way inside loose seams and under plastic masks as the motley assemblage of superheroes and ghouls faced each other…

Online Home Evaluation

“Friedster, what the hell are you doing with that chicken?” Startled, Ned Friedgen looked up to find his moon-faced boss hovering in the doorway. “Oh. Hi, sir,” the design engineer acknowledged. “Just fiddling with the ‘Nequity’ algorithm again.” Squawk! “What’s with the blindfold,” Baron Schlumpf pressed as he eyed the fowl. Ned’s brow wrinkled in…

Three Agents Walk Into a Bar

Three Real Estate agents sat shoulder to shoulder at the bar of a local watering hole, sipping happy hour cocktails like they did every Friday. One made his bones in the current market as a bank owned property (REO) specialist. Another had carved out a niche in the short sale arena. The third had migrated…

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