Realtors To Stop Photographing Themselves in Bathroom Mirrors

Scottsdale, AZ – According to a hastily released statement from the National Association of Realtors this morning, the 1.2 million active members of the nation’s largest trade organization will hereby stop including themselves in property listing photos. Effective immediately, the public will be assured that any agent appearing in the reflection of a master bathroom mirror is not a dues-paying REALTOR®.

“It’s this kind of initiative that exemplifies the difference between a mere Real Estate agent and a REALTOR,” NAR spokesman Thelonius Diedel explained. “Well, that and a couple hundred bucks annually.”

“Ghosting, as we call it, is a threat to consumers which we here at the NAR take very seriously,” Diedel continued. “A REALTOR designation assures home sellers they are working with a professional who has been trained to take a picture from around a corner, or at an angle.”

Not confined to issues of self-inclusion, Real Estate agents have long vexed online property shoppers with errant fingers on lenses, moving trucks in driveways and labrador retrievers in foyers. Exterior photos taken directly into the sun have caused at least nine cases of blindness since 2008.*

“Don’t even get me started on those fish eye virtual tours,” Cameron Stultz of the consumer watchdog group, People for Competent Photography, added when reached for comment. “I mean, thanks for showing us what the house would look like if we just chased a sheet of LSD with a liter of Jack Daniels and formaldehyde, but most buyers aren’t Alice when she’s ten feet tall. We’re just regular-size folks who want an accurate visual representation of the property.”

“This is what being a REALTOR is all about,” Diedel concluded. “Being heard, but not seen. In bathrooms.”

Diedel declined comment when asked how the initiative would help kickstart a slumping national housing market.

Melina Tomson, a non-NAR affiliated Real Estate broker in Salem, Oregon added, “Are you f&^%$*! kidding me with this?”


Paul Slaybaugh, Disassociative Press ©2011

*Data provided by intracranial study of author’s overactive imagination

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  • Oh and don’t forget the blinding from the flash off the mirror.  Perhaps it reminds them of a halo?

  • Kristin Moran

    This doesn’t happen in San Antonio.

  • Doesn’t happen in New Orleans, either, but that’s just because they don’t bother with indoor plumbing 😉

  • Oh, yes, the infamous “commode angel.” Did I ever mention the time I saw the Virgin Mary in the powder room of a semi-custom territorial?

  • It’s SO FUNNY!

  • Thanks, Kelli. We’re an easy target. 😉

  • Yvonne

    Well if the so called professional hired a photographer the bad toilet/ ghost shots would not be seen. We get paid well enough to delegate jobs we may not be pros at. The client deserves the best representation you can give for them when marketing their property. I personally cringe every time I see a picture of a bathroom with the toilet seat up! I agree with the fish eye virtual as well.. Never…Pictures work much better and give an honest look at the property. 

  • Iris Stuart

    I laughed so hard after reading the first paragraph that I had to make a quick run to the bathroom – sans camera.  By the end of this post I was laughing so hard that I have tears running down my face!  My sincere thanks to J. Philip for introducing me to your writings!

  • Thanks for checking the site out, Iris. We don’t take ourselves too seriously around here. 😉

  •  “This is what being a REALTOR is all about,” Diedel concluded. “Being heard, but not seen. In bathrooms.”

    This line is causing so much sidesplitting laughter for me (this, and every line in the article actually) I may have to sue you for causing me to pull my oblique muscle if I read it again!

    I don’t know how you pulled off the official news agency (AP or something) style with the seemingly straight lead and everything but this is brilliant satire Paul.

    How about those home selling men and women who create narrated 5 min youtube video walkthroughs of palatial Paradise Valley estates, with a pop hit playing in the background? Realtor?…Real estate agent?…Really motivated to make a sale-er?

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Paul Slaybaugh is here to sell houses and chew bubble gum. He's all out of bubble gum. More About Me >>>

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