Monthly Archives: October 2011

Willy Was a Liar

Willy was a liar. Not a teller of tall tales, not a stretcher of the truth, but a pathological liar. Whether swearing that his Uncle Doug played cowbell on Blue Oyster Cult’s ‘Don’t Fear the Reaper,’ or assuring an unsuspecting child that one plus one equals purple, weaving extravagant falsehoods came as naturally to the…

Real Estate Investor Attempts Tax-Deferred Exchange; Gets ‘Occupied’

Scottsdale, AZ – A Valley man attempting a tax deferred housing exchange has met with unlikely opposition: the self-described ‘ninety nine percent’. Retired postal worker Bryce S. Rhite is currently in the middle of selling the South Scottsdale investment property he has owned for thirty years. Utilizing a device known as a 1031 Tax Deferred…

Local Real Estate Brokerage Cancels Popular Charity Event, Cites Lack of Leads

Paradise Valley, AZ – Citing a lack of viable leads, local Real Estate giant, Kraken Realty has announced the cancellation of its annual ‘Strike Out Gout!’ charity event. A Valley institution since 1992, the popular fundraiser has been a bright spot in the fight against advanced podiatric disease for nearly two decades. “It’s with great regret…

Local Real Estate Agent Admits Home Not Really ‘A Steal’

Cheap Scottsdale Houses

In a stunning declaration, local Scottsdale Real Estate agent Barry Sniggles admitted today that his listing at 1007 N Firewater Blvd is not really a steal. While it is unclear exactly what prompted the confession, Sniggles has been besieged with demands from consumers and REALTORs alike to recant his bombastic claims about the modest three…

The House on Foreclosure Hill

"They're (not) here!"

The wind whipped up and down Oak Street, depositing stray leaves at the feet of the group loitering in front of the last house at the top of the hill. The late October chill worked its way inside loose seams and under plastic masks as the motley assemblage of superheroes and ghouls faced each other…

Online Home Evaluation

“Friedster, what the hell are you doing with that chicken?” Startled, Ned Friedgen looked up to find his moon-faced boss hovering in the doorway. “Oh. Hi, sir,” the design engineer acknowledged. “Just fiddling with the ‘Nequity’ algorithm again.” Squawk! “What’s with the blindfold,” Baron Schlumpf pressed as he eyed the fowl. Ned’s brow wrinkled in…

The Good, The Bad and The Stinky

“So what do we think of Toots?” Rochelle Laraway waited the three seconds it took for her husband to look up from his notes. “Toots,” the software engineer questioned, pulling his keen eyes from the meticulously organized data on the yellow legal pad. “Mr. Bartowski,” Rochelle replied. “Don’t pretend you didn’t notice.” She pinched her…

Three Agents Walk Into a Bar

Three Real Estate agents sat shoulder to shoulder at the bar of a local watering hole, sipping happy hour cocktails like they did every Friday. One made his bones in the current market as a bank owned property (REO) specialist. Another had carved out a niche in the short sale arena. The third had migrated…

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