The Scottsdale Property Shop
Humor & Fiction Archives
All work and no play makes Paul a dull boy ...
CALL ME
eaning back in a black leather swivel chair while he pondered the day ahead, Jimmy Dietz closed his eyes against the rising glare from the room’s only window. For perhaps the millionth time, he cursed his decision to select the only bedroom in the...
Cover Letter
Dear Francis, I showed your property at 123 E Via Linda yesterday, and my clients absolutely loved the home. As evidence, please find their attached offer. Knowing you are likely to receive additional offers on this listing, allow me to provide a little background on...
‘Tis the Season to Reanimate A Realtor
arly navigated the room with a panache befitting the guest of honor. The fact that he was but one of the invited many did nothing to discourage the lopsided grin from his freckled face. This was his night. Spying a familiar couple loitering in the...
Real Estate Market Bi-Polar; Follows Suicide Attempt with Raging Kegger
June 20, 2012 Scottsdale, AZ - As anyone who has attempted to buy or sell a home over the past seven years can attest, the Real Estate market has proven unstable at best. New findings released by the Phoenix-based American Behavioral Coalition this morning may explain...
Seller’s Market
Max Welling sipped from the “Denny’s” emblazoned ceramic mug, gritting his teeth against the watered-down confection masquerading as coffee within, the inviting aroma nothing more than a ruse. A useful diversion as he mentally composed his argument, the swill was...
Deep Freeze
“Why is his skin all splotchy?” Chip Donaghue stared at the pathetic, grey man on the gurney. Tubes ran in and out of his crystallized body, connecting him to a bank of beeping machines and monitors. “Sublimation is typical,” the humorless doctor beside him announced....
Real Estate Agent Goes Along to Get Along
Scottsdale, AZ - Recent studies suggest that consumers still envision salesmen as fast-talking, slick-haired, turquoise-pinkie-ring-flashing hucksters who would sooner eat their own gold teeth than hesitate to push their mothers into traffic if caught standing between...
Out of Ideas, Real Estate Blogger Turns to Trolling
BSRE NEWS - In a long anticipated move, an obscure Real Estate blogger has announced she is completely out of fresh content ideas. "I just don't know what to write about now that my cat died," Dolores Pentupangst of Katy, Texas lamented. "Frolix was good for one,...
Sales Pitch
Reggie stared at the pen. Held between the thumb and index finger of the hand that emerged from a white coat sleeve, the golden implement caught and reflected the overhead lights in mesmerizing fashion. No doubt by design. Reaching to accept the offering, he did so...
Welcome Back, REO Agents!
Greetings REO Agent, As the foreclosure crisis here in Scottsdale is beginning to show signs of easing, if not exactly abating, your fellow Real Estate professionals are eager to welcome you back to the ranks of humanity. You've been missed! You've done what you...