Tag Archive: humor

BREAKING: Local Real Estate Agent Only Attends Tour for the Croissants

The spoils of real estate tours

Scottsdale, AZ – Real Estate agents have long utilized tour groups to expose their listing inventory to the local home selling community. A forum that allows agents to promote new and upcoming property listings to a group of fellow active area Realtors, the Real Estate tour group fosters the kind of behind-the-scenes marketing that many…

Press “0” for Functional Obsolescence

“So let me get this straight,” Samuel Rothwall said, interrupting the twenty-something year old wonderkid with the lime green mohawk. “You’re saying that young people prefer electronic mail for urgent correspondence?” Bonzai, the assistant manager of the Verizon Wireless store, openly gawked at the old coot in front of him that fit somewhere between Steggosaurus…

REALTORs Released Back Into the Wild

Feb 9, 2013 09:45 AM Disassociative Press _______________________________________________________________________ SCOTTSDALE (DP) – A four year federal wildlife program to rehabilitate the sagging numbers of a local animal population has proven to be a rousing success, according to Dr. Slade Winders of the Herpetological Society of North America.  Non-indigenous to the Sonoran Desert, Realtus Serpentes is believed…

Somewhere on an Online Real Estate Forum …

Q & A: Home Buying in 85258 I want to buy a home that is for sale in McCormick Ranch for $495,000. I’ve heard I can get a better deal if I don’t use an agent, is this true? Also, what is the normal amount to take off the list price for an offer? Need…

Short Sale Confidential

The clandestine meeting took place at twelve thirty on a Thursday. Two men armed with black briefcases approached each other in the darkness, flanked by muscle-bound henchmen who busied themselves looking tough. The second-hand light refused to fully illuminate either faction. “You were to come alone,” Drago admonished his older rival. “As were you,” Arvloski…

How Not To Draft Your Short Sale Hardship Letter

To whom it may concern, I am drafting this explanation of hardship in attempt to effect a short sale of my property located at 88 W. Tantalus Lane, Scottsdale, AZ 85258. When I purchased the property on 1/16/2005, I was under the impression that Real Estate values never declined. That’s what the guy doing the…

Repair Demand Negotiation … or … The Art of Imploding the Deal (Humor)

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….. OU812 E. Impasse Trail …GOOD NEWS!!! Jan 1 (5 days ago)   Reply [v] Dear Barry, I am happy to inform you that the buyer has concluded his inspections for Impasse TL. Outside of a few minor issues that he would like the seller to address, we should be good to go. Please find…

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