Joyce DeMannon traced a white glove-encased fingertip over a lamp shade and inspected it for residue. Satisfied, she gave a curt, reluctant nod to the head of the maid staff. “Turndown service every morning, of course,” the chambermaid informed her dour guest. “Standard mint on the pillow, or you can inform my staff of a…
Tag Archive: this and that
Internet Asks Bloggers to “Please Stop”
In a stunning reversal of internal policy, the Internet has asked that bloggers stop adding new content to the collective mainframe. “It’s gotten out of hand,” Zachary Omega of the Internet confided when reached for comment. “We didn’t think it was possible for there to be too many blogs about the rigors of raising abused…
New NAR Initiative Forces Realtors to Update Avatars
(Washington DC) – In a statement released this morning, the National Association of Realtors® announced a new initiative aimed at curbing abuse in photographic representation amongst its membership in the virtual sphere. “This initiative has been ten years in the making,” according to NAR spokesman,Trevor Null. “Ever since Realtors entered the online space en masse,…
Bad Faith
“What do you mean I can’t back out on the inspection,” James “Jamo” Monahan demanded. “Say the frigging icemaker doesn’t work or something.” “Like I told you earlier, James, er, I mean Jamo,” Agnes DeMerrit explained to her disingenuous client on the other end of the line. “There is no second bite at the apple…
50 Things I’ve Learned Since 2007
One does not live through a Bubonic Real Estate Plague without lancing a few boils, or learning a thing or fifty. For your own edification, I give to you the lessons of a post-bubble Scottsdale Real Estate agent. ________________________________________________________________________________ Real Estate values can, indeed, decline. Oh, how they can decline. “Short sale” is synonymous with…
REALTORs Released Back Into the Wild
Feb 9, 2013 09:45 AM Disassociative Press _______________________________________________________________________ SCOTTSDALE (DP) – A four year federal wildlife program to rehabilitate the sagging numbers of a local animal population has proven to be a rousing success, according to Dr. Slade Winders of the Herpetological Society of North America. Non-indigenous to the Sonoran Desert, Realtus Serpentes is believed…
Somewhere on an Online Real Estate Forum …
Q & A: Home Buying in 85258 I want to buy a home that is for sale in McCormick Ranch for $495,000. I’ve heard I can get a better deal if I don’t use an agent, is this true? Also, what is the normal amount to take off the list price for an offer? Need…
Standard Bank Addendum
Standard Addendum to Purchase Contract Purchase Agreement for a First Bank of Asbestos (henceforth referred to as “Seller”) property is non-binding unless this addendum has been attached and fully executed by all parties. In the event of a dispute between the language of the Purchase Agreement (or subsequent addenda) and this addendum, the terms of…
Short Sale Confidential
The clandestine meeting took place at twelve thirty on a Thursday. Two men armed with black briefcases approached each other in the darkness, flanked by muscle-bound henchmen who busied themselves looking tough. The second-hand light refused to fully illuminate either faction. “You were to come alone,” Drago admonished his older rival. “As were you,” Arvloski…
An Honest Comparative Market Analysis
Comparative Market Analysis to Establish Top Market Value for the Property Located at 8560 E Turkey Way, Scottsdale, AZ 85250 Prepared for James and Heidi Knives on 1/21/2011 Recent Activity in Hayden Estates (7/21/10 – 1/21/11) Status #Listings List Price Sold Price Sale/List Price Approx. Sq Ft List Price Per Ft Sold Price Per Ft Days on Market…
