Last week’s stint in the frozen food section didn’t cool you all the way off, you say?
That’s the thing about summer. It’s still summer when you go back outside. What if I were to up the ante and solicit your business with the promise of something a bit more lasting? For this week, and this week only, any lucky consumer who purchases or sells a home through Ray & Paul Slaybaugh will receive one complimentary autumn! That’s right, The Bogus Sales Gimmick of the Week is one completely FREE fall season, redeemable upon the cessation of summer! Can’t choose your favorite month amongst September, October and November? You don’t have to! Act now and you get the entire Autumnal Equinox collection at absolutely no charge! And if that isn’t enough, if you call now, we’ll even extend this offer to include the winter solstice by throwing in one complimentary December!
Are you kidding me?
I never kid about savings.
Better hurry, though, folks, deals like this won’t last forever. Don’t be the only one on your street still sitting on a block of ice and suffering through 115 degree temps while you carve the Thanksgiving turkey! Don’t delay, call today!
Operators with calendars and highlighters are standing by.
*This offer is patently absurd and good for a limited time in a parallel dimension only